Unpro and Sis Present: White Girl Problems

Ah, to be a rich Caucasian female with money to burn and nothing to lose.  That's the concept behind the hilarious Twitter feed White Girl Problems.  Think Stuff White People Like with a designer bag and without a book deal (yet).

In the spirit of satire, Sister Unpro (who has started her own fun fashion blog) and I decided to compose some White Girl Problems of our own.  

Disclaimer: this is SATIRE ONLY.  Just for fun.  No soapboxes in the comments, please.  What I'd love to see in the comments?  Your own take on white girl/first world problems!


Fashion (aka Label Whoredom)

This poetry book is weighing down my leather tote.

I have to wake up at 2 a.m. for the Anthropologie sale.

This season's sunglasses suck.

My heels are sinking into the grass.

These shoes were not made for walking around the mall.

My boyfriend says Brooks Brothers is poorly made.

This bag is cute, but it's not a Coach.

Mind, Body and (No) Soul

I seriously don't know how I lost this weight.

My back is peeling.

Cheap shampoo makes my scalp itch.

My therapist says you're full of shit.

I put on two pounds.

Destinations

All I want is to go back to England.

I'm so over the Hamptons.

I'm so over Martha's Vineyard.

I'm so over Nantucket.

What do you mean, you don't speak French?

Technology

You erased So You Think You Can Dance from the DVR.

Facebook is down.

My iPod earbuds are too big for my ears.

Food

This organic banana is bullshit.

This brie is bullshit.

This cupcake is bullshit.

This hummus is bullshit.

These Kalamata olives are bullshit.

Sports and Recreation

I'm hot, but you're ugly, so this club won't let us in.

When I said "I like independent film," I didn't mean "I want to watch unattractive people with bad teeth reminisce about trees for two and a half hours."

I had one drink and I'm drunk.

My Yorkie hates me.

He likes Dane Cook.

He disappeared into a bar at 7 a.m. the day the World Cup started, and I haven't heard from him since.

No, I will NOT move over my yoga mat.  I got here first.

Just the Tip, Baby, Just the Tip

I have a guest post this week on the excellent blog Screenwriting Tips...You Hack. Check it out here.

FYI, if you write anything whatsoever that involves stories--screenplays, novels, epic journal entries--definitely read the whole blog. It's penned by a Hollywood scriptwriter, but 99% of the tips apply to any and every kind of narrative writing. Good stuff.

Happy Friday, y'all! Stay tuned for Monday's post, which I think is kinda fun. Of course, you could find it totally weird, but you won't know till you read it, will you?

Gettin' My Guest On

I recapped Lauren Conrad's literary masterpiece, L.A. Candy, for The Dairi Burger--the amazing blog that inspired me to start my own. Leave a comment if you really love me.

I'll be back on Monday with a tribute to one of the greatest sketch comedy shows of all time.

Happy Friday!