Showing posts with label about me. Show all posts
Showing posts with label about me. Show all posts

Monday, January 18, 2010

I Ain't the Worst That You Seen (Hopefully): My Fiction


First things first: my ever-so-fashionable and witty lil sis (whose thoughts were featured in this post), has started her own blog.  She loves reality TV and is quite awesome, so follow her, please!

So in addition to ripping on pop culture, dissecting movies, and befriending Jeremy Sisto, I also write YA fiction that doesn't involve vampires.  No agent yet, but I'm working on it.  I started this blog as a way to indulge my love of pop culture and create another writing channel--one with feedback more positive and detailed than "thanks, this isn't for us."

Though apparently I don't totally suck, as this place is going to pay me to work on my novel for two weeks in February.

I've had readers ask if they could read some of my fiction.  As it happens, two weeks ago I wrote a short piece for this contest.  I didn't win, but I was pretty happy with what I came up with.  It's a self-contained story, and it's already online (therefore I'm not paranoid someone will steal it) so I thought I'd share it.

NOTE: this is a highly atypical post. Regular snarkage will continue next week.

A little background: the prompt for the contest was 500 words or less from a teenager's secret diary or a letter they never sent.

Enjoy.

If only Levon hadn't worn that red grandpa cardigan.


Now I'm stressing whether Taylor will flay me with their recently-expelled fetus.


I need to write this down, even though circumstantial evidence probably isn't a good idea. Like what just happened.


I wish I could say "he's like my brother." We were together in the nursery, grew up singing the Elton John songs we were named for, alongside parents who'd been the oldest in Lamaze class, shot up from faithful story hour-goers to high school employees at the library.


But I was convinced that we were meant to be. Who else sounded as retro compatible as Levon and Harmony?


Then came Taylor, who preferred Cosmo to Tolkien. Taylor, who we liked anyway. Taylor, who found herself knocked up and didn't need Maury to prove that Levon was the father.


I went along for the nine-month ride. What else could a virginal third wheel do? And Taylor was grateful to confide in me when her boobs hurt.


That night was the first time Levon and I were trusted to close the library alone. Taylor was home, about to pop.


While I picked up discarded hardcovers, I listened to him heave up the ancient stereo hidden behind the circulation desk. Crap. Why did he have to pick that song? Out of all the Beach Boys, he had to choose the prayer of unrequited lovelust.


"Wouldn't it be nice if we were older, and we wouldn't have to wait so long/
and wouldn't it be nice to live together, in the kinda world where we belong?"


"I wish that every kiss was neeeeeeeverending," Levon crooned along. In the fluorescent light, I could see lines on his forehead that weren't there last year.


"Harmony!" I turned around. "Why ya running away?"


I held up the book.


He told me to put it down. "We always wanted to be all alone in the library." Levon spread his arms wide, banging his elbow on the newspaper carrel.


I rushed over, gingerly rolling up his sleeve, not even sure what I was supposed to be looking for.


His hand covering mine should have set off the security alarms.


What happened next was like flipping crisp new pages of text: stumbling to the windowless genealogy section, the tight space, the big gap in experience.


The swirl of "this is exactly how it's supposed to be" blending into "this is the worst thing we could possibly be doing." I wasn't sure which one was right, if there was a right feeling at all.


By the time Levon's cell beeped, the Beach Boys had moved on to "Barbara Ann" and we weren't looking at each other.


Taylor's water broke.


He started pulling on his clothes. He left the cardigan spread out on the floor facedown, and caught my eye with a glance I couldn't read. Asked if I'd be okay.


I swallowed. Nodded.


The heavy door slammed. Goosebumps broke out on my bare skin.


The closest thing was the red cardigan, but I didn't touch it.

NOTE2: HEY LITERARY AGENTS! Like what you see?  There's more where that came from!  Email me at maybeimamazed02[at]yahoo[dot]com.

Friday, October 9, 2009

Touch-a-touch-a-touch-a-touch-me! (figuratively, of course)



So I've kicked things up a notch (and dated myself with an Emeril Lagasse reference) here at the Unpro.  Behold, new (for the blog) ways to interact and communicate!

1.  Become a fan of The Unprofessional Critic on Facebook and/or follow me on Twitter.  Why?  Because I post daily updates about what I'm watching and reading, along with the requisite snark or unbridled enthusiasm, depending on the subject matter.  These updates are unique to Facebook and Twitter, so it's like extra fun all week long!  I also provide links to new blog posts, so you don't miss out.

2.  Email me at maybeimamazed02[at]yahoo[dot]com.  Why?  Cause I lurves 'em.  Seriously, it's been really cool to hear from readers as far-flung as Amsterdam about how they found the blog, what they like about it, and suggestions for future posts.  I love suggestions and constructive criticism, and I really do listen--after all, YOU guys are the ones who tune in as I blather on about whatever's catching my pop culture fancy this week. 

Also, send a note if you've created something you'd like me to review.  Nothing makes me happier than advance screenings, galleys, DVD's, et cetera et cetera and so on.  I do have a few of these in the works, but in the meantime, lay it on me!  (That's what she said.  OR HE SAID.)

3.  Leave a comment!  After hearing from people that they couldn't comment, I checked out my settings, and true to my newbie-blogger self, discovered that they were more restricted than I would like.  Now, like Wal Mart at midnight on Black Friday, IT'S OPEN!  If you don't have an ID, just click "Anonymous" and you should be all set.

Lastly, ain't nothin' like word of mouth to spread the love.  PLEASE TELL YOUR FRIENDS ABOUT THIS BLOG!  I'm no Mean Girl.  The more, the merrier.

Happy Friday and stay tuned for Monday's post, where I complete my Teen Girl Movie Trifecta!

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Greatest Hits, Vol. 1

Hey lovely readers,

So it's a busy week at work, plus I'm writing like a madwoman to complete the rough draft of my novel so my critique partner can read it on his way to Australia. 

Therefore, I thought I'd put up links to a few of my favorite blog entries that you may have missed.  Feel free to comment, 'cause I love comments.  Also, you can always, ALWAYS leave a comment or email me to suggest stuff you'd like me to review for the blog.  I love suggestions!

Regular posting will resume after Labor Day.  (Hint: initials FLB!)

In the meantime, happy reading and enjoy what's left of summer!

P.S.  I got some love from Northern Illinois University's Women's Studies Program.  Click here and scroll down to "Summer Accomplishments--Alumni."  Thanks, ladies!

My Top 5 Favorite Posts:
1.  (500) Days of Summer Review (referred to as "spectacular" by YA author and nice human being Susane Colasanti, boo-ya!)
2.  McDaniel, Pascal, and Braff present My Life Without Me
3.  I say goodbye to Michael Jackson
4.  All I ever really needed to know, I learned from Unsolved Mysteries
5.  From a feminist perspective, a film about a hooker that is NOT called Pretty Woman

Monday, June 1, 2009

Yo.

So I'm joining the ranks of the blogosphere.

Here's the skinny: I like to write (YA fiction mostly--cross your fingers I get published someday), and I live in Chicago. When I'm not at work, I go to things: weird movies, plays, concerts, you name it. I'm fortunate enough to have some industry connections, which is great because I'm poor (hello, student loans for advanced degree and overpriced rental). I also read constantly and watch a lot of TV (reality and otherwise).


Much like Rob Gordon in High Fidelity (one of my all-time Top 5 favorite books AND movies), I analyze everything. I'd attribute this to my undergrad major (theatre), where I was taught to tear apart plays, and/or my law degree, which I earned by tearing apart case studies and constitutions, and/or my ex-boyfriend, who was a filmmaker and tore apart movies.


Truth is, I've been critiquing stuff since I was in fourth grade and discovered the weekly movie reviews in the TV supplement of the local paper. I'd read them at my grandma's house when I got bored and BOOM, an obsession was born.


Basically, I'll be posting my thoughts about what I read and watch. I can be very sarcastic, but I like to think I'm less bitter than I used to be. Occasionally, I'll make recommendations, which you can take or leave. If you like something, don't hesitate to email me or leave a comment. If you don't, ditto. Oh, and I swear, use CAPS (and parentheses) constantly, and have a huge crush on Rainn Wilson. (And yes, I like pink and Barbie--why do you ask?)


First review should be going up soon, though this is a busy week for me.


That's that for now. Stay classy.