In the spirit of satire, Sister Unpro (who has started her own fun fashion blog) and I decided to compose some White Girl Problems of our own.
Disclaimer: this is SATIRE ONLY. Just for fun. No soapboxes in the comments, please. What I'd love to see in the comments? Your own take on white girl/first world problems!
Fashion (aka Label Whoredom)
This poetry book is weighing down my leather tote.
I have to wake up at 2 a.m. for the sale.
This season's sunglasses suck.
My heels are sinking into the grass.
These shoes were not made for walking around the mall.
My boyfriend says Brooks Brothers is poorly made.
This bag is cute, but it's not a Coach.
Mind, Body and (No) Soul
I seriously don't know how I lost this weight.
My back is peeling.
Cheap shampoo makes my scalp itch.
My therapist says you're full of shit.
I put on two pounds.
All I want is to go back to .
I'm so over the Hamptons.
I'm so over Martha's Vineyard.
I'm so over Nantucket.
What do you mean, you don't speak French?
You erased from the DVR.
Facebook is down.
My iPod earbuds are too big for my ears.
This organic banana is bullshit.
This brie is bullshit.
This cupcake is bullshit.
This hummus is bullshit.
These Kalamata olives are bullshit.
Sports and Recreation
I'm hot, but you're ugly, so this club won't let us in.
When I said "I like independent film," I didn't mean "I want to watch unattractive people with bad teeth reminisce about trees for two and a half hours."
I had one drink and I'm drunk.
My Yorkie hates me.
He likes .
He disappeared into a bar at 7 a.m. the day the World Cup started, and I haven't heard from him since.
No, I will NOT move over my yoga mat. I got here first.